The biggest ongoing battle that I fight on a daily basis, is the tug of war between THE HOUSE and THE FARM. This is one of the most brilliant perks of being a female farmer, said no one ever. Some days the house wins, some days the farm wins. Oh, but then there are the days it seems like they've both been through a tornado, followed by a hurricane, then shaken up by an earthquake. That's when I conclude that the shit has officially hit the fan and landed, in slooow motion. And I'm the one in charge of cleaning it all up. However, on the most rare and special of occasions, they both look pretty damn good! You know the surreal moments in life when you swear there is a grand musical score playing along to that particular scene..it's like that. Those are the times you can find me sitting on my front porch swing with a mason jar of sweet tea, taking it all in because I know what a fleeting moment it is..all is right with my corner of the world, la la la. Ah, but I'll be back to pulling my hair out and cursing the disasters soon after. The key is balance, as in all things..but it is easier said than done when you're the one doing the balancing act.
As a farmer, you always have an eye on the sky. Mother Nature is one of the primary predictors of how my day is bound to go. Although regardless of what she's got on her agenda, certain responsibilities have to go on with or without her blessing. The animals have to be fed every morning and every evening, 365 days a year, all four seasons..no matter what the weather. Oh yes. Throwing hay, hauling water, filling feed troughs. I have done it in 100 degrees, wearing my panties and bra with boots..and I've done it in sub zero temperatures, wearing five layers of clothes and battery powered socks. (Don't know which is more embarrassing to admit..farm chores in my underwear or battery powered socks, haha..maybe I should have kept them both to myself, but there it is...some TMI for ya.) Regardless, the animals don't give a rat's ass what the thermometer says or what I'm wearing or not wearing..all they care about is being served with their food. But if animals could laugh, I bet mine would have a good long laugh at little ole me and the things they see and hear, oh my. Okay, back to the weather: So on the days that the sky is pouring rain or snow, for the most part I pay more attention to the farm house..dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning. These days feel like Groundhog Day to me..one big deja vu of the same random assortment of routine B.S. that I've dealt with at least a million times before. But on the fair weather days, my focus is on the farm and all things outdoors. If it's really pretty outside, you almost couldn't drag me inside. I'll just keep on finding work to do and completely dismiss whatever mess the house is in. The best are those long summer days where the sun comes up early and goes down late..plenty of hours for work and play. The short days of winter and it's grey skies force me to be indoors way more than I prefer, but the alternative is bundling up, freezing my butt off, and fighting the elements. So I just put another log on the fire and daydream about someplace tropical. In the fall I tend to be in my kitchen a lot, because I get in the mood to be in my kitchen that time of year..canning and baking, cooking up a storm. And I also do a lot of walking around the farm with my camera, to capture the colors before they disappear. Spring is my favorite of all the seasons..time to dust off the long winter and watch everything come back to life.
One would think that a 2,000 square foot house would be a lot less of an undertaking than 112 acres..making The Farm the automatic winning opponent over the Farm House in this battle. Not to mention the farm has, let me see, eight standing structures on it aside from the house itself..all of which are occupied and/or used for some purpose. And let's not forget that the farm has sixty-some residents roaming around. Miles of fences, tools and equipment, gardens and trees, ponds and creeks, fields and forests, and manure..a SHIT TON of manure to be exact. Seems like the prospect of keeping up with all of that would far outweigh any task to be done within the farm house. Four people, a few cats and dogs..couldn't be that hard, right. Wrong. When you have everyone constantly coming in and out...it can get turned upside down and inside out real quick. Stuff from the house ends up outside..dishes, clothes, shoes. Stuff from the farm ends up inside..hay ties, horse whips, buckets. So I do a lot, and I mean A LOT of sorting and packing of things that are out of place. I always have my arms full of such items every single time I come in and the same with going out. And do I dare mention the instances when something is really drastically out of place. Talkin' bout the things that make you go hmmm. Here's a prime example: I walk into the house, which was spotless at the time. Oh, but I notice something out of the ordinary. A trail going down the hallway. A trail of chicken feathers, poop, chicken feathers, poop...leading to my bedroom. So I follow this trail, so afraid of what I might find at the end of it. If a musical score had been playing during this scene, it would have been the same song from the shower scene in Hitchcock's Psycho. And about the time when the shower curtain opens, is the time when I see IT. The chicken. On. My. Bed. And I probably screamed just like Janet Leigh..can't be sure because it was all a blur. Next thing I knew I was on my bed wrangling the chicken..and immediately after, with chicken in hand, chasing some mischievous kids out of the house while trying to dodge the chicken shit on the floor in the hallway. You wanna talk about "madder than an old wet hen"...that was me in that moment. My head most likely spun around like the Excorcism. I told the kids they better run and hide where I won't find them for a week, cussed that chicken like a sailor...then cleaned up the mess, and had a good hard laugh about the whole damn thing. Shoot, what else can you do when these WTF moments happen, but laugh.
To wrap this one up: The battle between the Farm House and The Farm will never cease to exist as long as I'm here. But I welcome the challenge and the chaos, because it's all part of what makes life interesting to me. I might not put on make up and go to work a 9-5 job like most women. And I'm also far from your typical housewife. I wear jeans and boots some days, aprons and high heels on others. My office is a barn, a hay field, a tractor..depending on the day. My hours are flexible, but full time. And I divide my attention among many different people and things. Just trying to balance it all like every other woman. As Confusius said: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." That's what it comes down to at the end of the day.
Till Next Time,
Happy Balancing :)
Farmer Tiff
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